Jew or NOT a Jew? Says WHO?

Let's play a version of Adam Sandler's: Jew or Not a Jew?

From NY Times:

PARIS — Centuries after the Spanish Inquisition led to the forced conversion of Jews to Catholicism, an ultra-orthodox rabbinical court in Israel has issued a religious ruling that recognizes descendants from the insular island of Majorca as Jews....

“The decision is a headline ruling,” said Rabbi Israel Wiesel, a judge from Israel who explored the community in Palma, roaming the street where, for generations, many chueta families have operated jewelry stores. “Unlike other Marranos in Spain and Portugal, who lost their line of history,” he said, “this particular community is unique and kept the pure line of history for the last 700 years, which means they are Jewish.”

Read more re: Majorcan Jews

MY (albeit hyper-biased) TAKE:

Marranos, which means swine, is a term of disrespect/contempt. Interesting: both ultra-orthodox Jews & hard-core Christians share the same terminology & similar beliefs. Apparently, they both think "conversos" can go to Hell.

Majorcans: A-OK Jews, but "other" Sephards: NOT "our" kind.

I'm guessing A-OKs could document "proper" descent via maternal line. Lately, I've heard a lot re: Jewish birthrights. To be precise, when I mention that I recently discovered my paternal grandfather was Sephardic or Jewish, the next line of dialogue goes something like: But you're not Jewish unless your mother is Jewish.

Odd. Women don't count (literally) in Torah; genealogy recorded via males, who beget & beget..., ad nauseum. My name-sake Dinah, daughter of Jacob, i.e., Father Israel, doesn't merit a tribe; she doesn't even get to speak--her two brothers decide they'll do ALL the talking, decisioning, & killing for the family. SEE: The Red Tent

But now, apparently, mother ancestors are valid, but fathers are not. Nonetheless, women still sit in back of synagogue. I get it. When it's my turn at the table, women don't count, but when women do count, it's still not my turn @ the table.

Carvalho

OY, first the Catholic Church rejects me, now this! When will my wandering cease?

BUT HA, ultra-orthodox Jew-keepers! I got Chosen blood from women in my family too! Yes, Girl Power! All my maternal names (and paternal grandmother's name) are recognized Sephardic or Converso names: Carvalho, Pinto, Obispo, Sousa (Abravanel).

Coming up this month: Why Sephardim have Garden-of-Eden-esque names...

[Caption] The Portuguese Carvalho original coat of arms, as used by the Marquis of Pombal.