THE END.
So Who (Whos?) Wrote the Bible?
Continued from: The More Sources The Better
Everybody says Moses wrote the Torah, which includes Genesis & Exodus, the BIG Bang B.C. books. But, as usual, Everybody is wrong. Not least because Moses DIES.
According to the Documentary Hypothesis, there are basically four biblical editorial academies. Imagine: the bible was written by committees of committees. If you've ever tried to pull off a big project by "consensus," you'll appreciate that the finished product took a really, really long time.
Now for the Alphabet Lesson:
The J (German acronym for Y - YWHW) refers to God as YHWH (which is supposed to be unpronounceable, and hence never spoken aloud). Super-strict Jews generally say Hashem instead.
I've been told to avoid using "Yahweh" in poems intended for a Jewish audience, which is kinda ironic because I thought Yahweh would connect all through a common belief in the Old Testament. So, in my attempt to reach out to Jews @ Yeshiva, I almost insulted them. Sigh. Inter-faithing is fraught with challenge. Oy.
The “J” school probably lived around Jerusalem, and hob-nobbed with the Court elite. Harold Bloom even speculated that J was a woman living in Soloman's court, given J's highly refined & literary-text-savvy writing style. At first I thought: NO WAY a woman would write the second Genesis story!! By after thinking about it, given how progressive the Hebrews were, relative to contemporary tribes, a woman's lib's reading make sense. [But that's for another post.]
The “E” school refers to God as Elohim and likely was from Northern Israel. E is nowhere near as big a deal as J.
“D” is for "the Deuteronomy writer." Guess what they wrote? BTW there are more curses in Deutero than in most rap songs. For Real. Check it out.
The “P” or Priestly writer loved loved loved lists, regulations, and lots of historical-seeming facts. All those genealogies you skip over? Brought to you by P.
A super-anal canon lawyer is sure to test the patience of a lay audience. Such painfully excessive detail especially annoys me because it's mostly made up/arbitrary; the more precise the detail, the more likely it's factually false.
But the point is not historical accuracy. It's about discipline. The priests standardized worship and religious practice in order to create cultural cohesion. And it worked.
As a fiction writer, I have a special angry spot in my heart for people who tell me how pointless fiction is, and how morally superior "facts" are compared to fictional/dramatized stories. You know, those people who only read "non-fiction" or journalism, in order to seek The Truth. People like my Dad.
"I don't waste my time reading things that aren't true," my father told me when I was a kid. He was referring to literature. Sigh. Well, I won't be dedicating my first novel to you, Dad.
Of course, Daddy and his ilk read the newspaper, and watch TV newscasts and documentaries. You know, "real news." Presumably, the Bible is True, and therefore it's not literature, which isn't "true."
The P-Priestly writer probably penned Gen 1, and J probably created Genesis 2.
Clearly, the J writers are the Lyrical Masters. It should be obvious J is telling stories: Myths, fables, historical novellas (like Joseph's tale) are based very loosely, if at all, on real people and real events. But apparently, nothing is obvious.
The Genesis stories were transmitted orally, and as oral stories are wont to do, mutated from generation to generation, but with common motifs. The Final editors (compiling in Babylon?) didn't know which version was more correct, so they included all of it.
The idea was that scholars would read the complete text and argue among themselves as to how to interpret the stories, conflicts and all. Hence the importance of studying Torah, and the social esteem of the Rabbi. The Scriptures were tough, and required a lifetime of study.
Personally, I'm don't mind that both stories are included. Consider: factual problems in the bible are a SIGN of QUALITY REPORTING. They collected all the available evidence.
Everybody says Moses wrote the Torah, which includes Genesis & Exodus, the BIG Bang B.C. books. But, as usual, Everybody is wrong. Not least because Moses DIES.
According to the Documentary Hypothesis, there are basically four biblical editorial academies. Imagine: the bible was written by committees of committees. If you've ever tried to pull off a big project by "consensus," you'll appreciate that the finished product took a really, really long time.
Now for the Alphabet Lesson:
The J (German acronym for Y - YWHW) refers to God as YHWH (which is supposed to be unpronounceable, and hence never spoken aloud). Super-strict Jews generally say Hashem instead.
I've been told to avoid using "Yahweh" in poems intended for a Jewish audience, which is kinda ironic because I thought Yahweh would connect all through a common belief in the Old Testament. So, in my attempt to reach out to Jews @ Yeshiva, I almost insulted them. Sigh. Inter-faithing is fraught with challenge. Oy.
The “J” school probably lived around Jerusalem, and hob-nobbed with the Court elite. Harold Bloom even speculated that J was a woman living in Soloman's court, given J's highly refined & literary-text-savvy writing style. At first I thought: NO WAY a woman would write the second Genesis story!! By after thinking about it, given how progressive the Hebrews were, relative to contemporary tribes, a woman's lib's reading make sense. [But that's for another post.]
The “E” school refers to God as Elohim and likely was from Northern Israel. E is nowhere near as big a deal as J.
“D” is for "the Deuteronomy writer." Guess what they wrote? BTW there are more curses in Deutero than in most rap songs. For Real. Check it out.
The “P” or Priestly writer loved loved loved lists, regulations, and lots of historical-seeming facts. All those genealogies you skip over? Brought to you by P.
A super-anal canon lawyer is sure to test the patience of a lay audience. Such painfully excessive detail especially annoys me because it's mostly made up/arbitrary; the more precise the detail, the more likely it's factually false.
But the point is not historical accuracy. It's about discipline. The priests standardized worship and religious practice in order to create cultural cohesion. And it worked.
As a fiction writer, I have a special angry spot in my heart for people who tell me how pointless fiction is, and how morally superior "facts" are compared to fictional/dramatized stories. You know, those people who only read "non-fiction" or journalism, in order to seek The Truth. People like my Dad.
"I don't waste my time reading things that aren't true," my father told me when I was a kid. He was referring to literature. Sigh. Well, I won't be dedicating my first novel to you, Dad.
Of course, Daddy and his ilk read the newspaper, and watch TV newscasts and documentaries. You know, "real news." Presumably, the Bible is True, and therefore it's not literature, which isn't "true."
The P-Priestly writer probably penned Gen 1, and J probably created Genesis 2.
Clearly, the J writers are the Lyrical Masters. It should be obvious J is telling stories: Myths, fables, historical novellas (like Joseph's tale) are based very loosely, if at all, on real people and real events. But apparently, nothing is obvious.
The Genesis stories were transmitted orally, and as oral stories are wont to do, mutated from generation to generation, but with common motifs. The Final editors (compiling in Babylon?) didn't know which version was more correct, so they included all of it.
The idea was that scholars would read the complete text and argue among themselves as to how to interpret the stories, conflicts and all. Hence the importance of studying Torah, and the social esteem of the Rabbi. The Scriptures were tough, and required a lifetime of study.
Personally, I'm don't mind that both stories are included. Consider: factual problems in the bible are a SIGN of QUALITY REPORTING. They collected all the available evidence.
The More Sources the Better:
journalist's take on Genesis
Genesis has always vexed me. I'm simply mystified that the Adam's Rib story is still dominant in Western Civilization. If someone were to actually read Genesis, he would, (necessarily) realize that the creation story is not literal, historical fact. IN FACT, there are two “creation” stories, that are NOT reconcilable factually. Presumably, the literal-minded emphasize the importance of facts as stated.
Genesis 1 conflicts with Genesis 2 re: important details, and the first story, which is rarely mentioned in Western culture, strongly suggests that man and woman were created at the same time.
It follows, logically, that at least one Genesis chapter must be false, IN A LITERAL OR FACTUAL SENSE, even if you don't bring science and evolution into the argument.
In other words, even in the Middle Ages, ecclesiastical authorities, who were familiar with Greek philosophy, should have known better than to preach the literal truth of Genesis. St. Augustine, who used Adam & Eve to explain original sin and the necessity of salvation was certainly familiar with logic and rhetoric. St. Augustine, ever the intellectual, interpreted Genesis metaphorically, but his followers interpreted his interpretation of Genesis both literally and metaphorically. [But don't get me started on the doctrine of Original Sin!!]
Full Disclosure: I've been a feminist as long as I can remember (as long as I've been a reader) and Genesis is a major, major sore point. We read as we are.
Apparently, people simply disregard Genesis 1 because it doesn't reinforce Genesis 2, and the later was more useful. [See: Cognitive Dissonance.]
But more importance, the authors of Genesis 2 are far far better writers, and, truth be told, the Greater Story lives and the lesser one dies, no matter what your political agenda. The stylistic differences of the two chapters are pronounced.
In Genesis 2, god is like man, and literally (in the story) walks among man. God has feelings, just like us! God felt sorry for Adam, who was lonely! The snake talks! Talking animals provide primal fascination to humans, going back to bed time stories. What primitive being wouldn't prefer a GOD MADE IN OUR IMAGE; how else could we figure God out, and appease him?
UPCOMING POST: Documentary Hypothesis & why the Priestly writer is TO DIE FOR/FROM
JOKE-AGORY Pt 2: The Trinity Friends Hear The WRITER
Continued from A Chaplain, Converso, and Fat Girl Walk into a Writer's Brain
[Wikipedia: The Converso's Pet Scapegoat]
The PR Angel is dressed in Black. She hears their tale. "My metaphorical children," she says, "there's one clear way for all to fulfill dreams. You must Kinda Keep Kosher."
"You want we should do WHAT?" asks the Chaplain, who's been studying Jewishness by watching lots of Woody Allen films.
"Keep Kinda Kosher, my daughters," says the Writer. "You must sail to the Upper West Side to consult with the Great Conservative Rabbis."
"But Kosher Chinese tastes awful!" whines the Fat Girl.
[NEW!] "OH NO," says the PR Angel. "You awakened the consciousness of the Writer! And she's on post-extension deadline." The Angel bent her head, and whispered to herself. "This time she's going to do it: transfer me to the Activist's Brain." The PR Angel gasped. "I'll have to serve as prophet to Congress. It's going to be a long year."
The Writer paid no attention to the distraught Angel. "Ah, my Dorky Daughter," says The Writer. "You must learn patience. If you wish to slim fast, you must first hold your tongue and duck-tape your mouth. I mean that metaphorically. Almost nobody means anything literally. Those horrid words: 'I mean that literally' make me want to shoot flying monkeys out of the offenders' nethers. Sheesh. Doesn't ANYBODY think before they speak?"
"Relax," whispers the Converso to her Trinity sisters. "My people have been getting around the rules for centuries. It's how we kept Holier-than-Thou Pogromy Peasants from roasting us on a spit. When you're trying to save your skin from the crisper, you get really good at busting open loop-holes."
"Ah," say the Born-Again and the Fat Girl. "Kinda! Kinda Kinda!"
[Enhanced!] "Exactly my children," says the Writer. "Kind, with an a." You didn't work your nethers off @ Brown & Sarah Lawrence so you could follow the rules as directed! Seriously, make you emptied-pockets parents proud. Apply your mega-liberal, way-too-expensive, liberal arts education. Let the Engineers & Lawyers do all the ritualized literal-minded grunt work. Now Go. Seriously. I've got other characters to flesh out. AND GET OUT OF MY BRAIN. I have way too many random thoughts and book proposals already."
[NEW!] The Writer turned to the PR Angel. "I'll deal with you later. I have something special in mind. Something worse than Congressional Prophet. SHAZAM!"
All three Trinity Friends breathed a sigh of relief. Because Kosher Chinese really is awful. And the pizza's not so good either (except Falafel pizza, which the Fat Girl loved).
[TO BE CONTINUED -- someday]
The PR Angel is dressed in Black. She hears their tale. "My metaphorical children," she says, "there's one clear way for all to fulfill dreams. You must Kinda Keep Kosher."
"You want we should do WHAT?" asks the Chaplain, who's been studying Jewishness by watching lots of Woody Allen films.
"Keep Kinda Kosher, my daughters," says the Writer. "You must sail to the Upper West Side to consult with the Great Conservative Rabbis."
"But Kosher Chinese tastes awful!" whines the Fat Girl.
[NEW!] "OH NO," says the PR Angel. "You awakened the consciousness of the Writer! And she's on post-extension deadline." The Angel bent her head, and whispered to herself. "This time she's going to do it: transfer me to the Activist's Brain." The PR Angel gasped. "I'll have to serve as prophet to Congress. It's going to be a long year."
The Writer paid no attention to the distraught Angel. "Ah, my Dorky Daughter," says The Writer. "You must learn patience. If you wish to slim fast, you must first hold your tongue and duck-tape your mouth. I mean that metaphorically. Almost nobody means anything literally. Those horrid words: 'I mean that literally' make me want to shoot flying monkeys out of the offenders' nethers. Sheesh. Doesn't ANYBODY think before they speak?"
"Relax," whispers the Converso to her Trinity sisters. "My people have been getting around the rules for centuries. It's how we kept Holier-than-Thou Pogromy Peasants from roasting us on a spit. When you're trying to save your skin from the crisper, you get really good at busting open loop-holes."
"Ah," say the Born-Again and the Fat Girl. "Kinda! Kinda Kinda!"
[Enhanced!] "Exactly my children," says the Writer. "Kind, with an a." You didn't work your nethers off @ Brown & Sarah Lawrence so you could follow the rules as directed! Seriously, make you emptied-pockets parents proud. Apply your mega-liberal, way-too-expensive, liberal arts education. Let the Engineers & Lawyers do all the ritualized literal-minded grunt work. Now Go. Seriously. I've got other characters to flesh out. AND GET OUT OF MY BRAIN. I have way too many random thoughts and book proposals already."
[NEW!] The Writer turned to the PR Angel. "I'll deal with you later. I have something special in mind. Something worse than Congressional Prophet. SHAZAM!"
All three Trinity Friends breathed a sigh of relief. Because Kosher Chinese really is awful. And the pizza's not so good either (except Falafel pizza, which the Fat Girl loved).
[TO BE CONTINUED -- someday]
JOKE-AGORY Pt 1: a Chaplain, Converso & Fat Girl walk into a Writer's Brain...
UPDATED 9/16: The Converso needs to dig up her Jewish roots. It's tough. Her mother cut & stuffed the family's Sephardic roots in a LOCK BOX, jammed it with relics, & purified the Lock Box in Holy Water from the Shrine of Our Lady of Fatima.
Then she buried the Lock Box under the mythical land of Atlantis (Portuguese Azores). She's one thorough Mother.
The Converso asks the Chaplain for help. No problem. "If I can be Born Again in Jesus the Jew, why can't the Jew in You be resurrected?"
As with all good intentions, therein lay a silver thread of self-interest. The Chaplain needs to bone up on Judaism to serve Jewish sailor-sheep in her flock.
The Fat Girl, who'd been hiding in a corner, timidly speaks up. "Um, I could help too, if you think I'm good enough to help. But, umm. I'm not sure how. Sorry. I can't really do much. But, I have this dream. I guess it's silly. But I want to get buff, so I can Sail the Seven Seas."
So the three form a team. They get hats & t-shirts that read: The Trinity Friends. The Chaplain insists on Sailor Blue with Gold Lettering.
The trinity build an ark. The Fat Girl brings her Vietnamese pot-belly pig; the Converso drags along her scapegoat; and the Chaplain calls her Warrior Pigeon.
They sail the ark to the Memory of the New Rochelle Pier where the Sarah Lawrence College rowing team rows. Once Upon a Time, The Fat Girl rowed (badly) with the Gryphon team. But that was long ago.
But, back to the Quest. The Trinity Friends must first get past the Writer's PR Angel.
[TO BE CONTINUED]
See: The Trinity Friends Hear from the Writer
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